The dictatorship of beauty and the “feeling”

What is human beauty? Have we always been guided by the same canons? Why, in general terms, is it difficult for us to know how to age? Why do more doors open to people with beauty? Why does a baby that is pretty receive more attention than one that is not so pretty? Why are so many people not comfortable with their bodies? Why are eating disorders affecting more and more people?

Have we stopped to think what makes us programmed to not approve of our physical appearance? Yes, surely advertising is the main responsible, for the fact of offering us what we want to consume. But of course, advertising pursues, in economic terms, precisely this: to show what people are supposed to want to see … Seen like this, it seems that we are in a kind of vicious circle from which we cannot get out… But, once moreover, the answer is overloaded and undervalued education. We must educate our minors and re-educate the elderly so that we have a critical view of all the audiovisual material we consume and, little by little, widen the narrow vision that we often have about what human beauty is.

Human beauty must go beyond measurements, features, height and weight, an age group, the color of skin, hair or eyes… Beauty is and must be seen as a whole. Because physical beauty is ephemeral but beauty in capital letters, the one that values ​​the person as a whole, not only does not disappear but can grow over time. Experience makes us wiser and wisdom is also beauty. And there is no stronger connection than the one that is sustained by elements that are not perishable, aspects that are not seen with the naked eye and that make up everything that a person really is.

We often fall into the error of reducing the “feeling” to merely physical beauty and, automatically, we approach people who either may reject us or may have little to offer us and, even, may not awaken this affective sexual connection, of unknown formula. In the same way, they alienate us from people with whom we could establish a much deeper connection, just because some physical element does not suit our expectations, often based on social prejudices: the man must be taller than the woman, the woman He must be younger, the man must be strong, the woman feminine, a few extra pounds is not welcome, the bald better than not …

So, how can we escape from this dictatorship of beauty and open ourselves to connecting with the real beauty of people, which is often the one that we do not see with the naked eye? We have tried to summarize it like this:

  1. Accept and love ourselves for who we are as a whole, outside and inside. Highlight what we like about ourselves and relativize what we don’t like so much. This point is not at odds with taking care of ourselves to feel better about ourselves, obviously.
  2. Review what we understand by beauty. Beautiful eyes do not always have to be large, they can be small and expressive; Sensual lips do not always have to be full, they can be small and sweet; attractive hands do not always have to be big and slender, they can be small and soft…
  3. Be realistic and lower expectations. The model of the billboard is not an option. Pretend that wrinkles do not make an appearance after a certain age, systematically reject gray hair and baldness, either … Let’s not confuse this lowering of expectations with being with someone who is not attractive to us. It has to do with finding someone attractive because we have opened ourselves to discovering them in their entirety and regardless of the prejudices that we may have.
  4. Value people based on how we feel about them. The connection or feeling rarely appears at first glance. We must approach, smell, touch, feel…
  5. Take the time and effort to bond. Every relationship requires the formation of a bond and this is not created either immediately or without dedication. This “effort” does not have to do with forcing oneself, but with opening up to the other. It has to do with giving the best of oneself, with listening, being interested in the other person, sharing … And all this means opening up to communicate, an essential part of human relationships that today we are sacrificing based on Whatsapps and emoticons… But this would be another topic…

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