10 basic concepts to learn to seduce

Meaning of seduce: Seduction is a necessary art not only in the field of love but in many others, such as work, friendship, fraternal and maternal… And it is because seduction is the gateway to love, as necessary as essential for our well-being.

Seducing means being able to exhibit one’s own virtues from the impulse generated by the desire that is born within us at a certain moment and to obtain someone or something that attracts us. Contrary to what many believe, in this process, often considered an art, intelligence and psychology play a more important role than beauty. We must understand seduction as a process that requires a set of steps and considerations that we have tried to detail below:

1. Take the initiative.
Love seduction is a matter of two people. Fortunately, times have changed and we have already left behind the role that attributed a more passive role to women and the art of conquest was limited to men. With this statement we do not want to deny that there are still certain gender differences, but rather to show that the ideal seduction is bidirectional and can be initiated by women and men indistinctly. Also, that the responsibility that progresses and ends up generating a quality connection between both people is the responsibility of both parties. Therefore, we encourage you to take the initiative when you feel attracted to a person and to pay attention to “how” you will do it in order to seduce them.

2. Value your authenticity.
A good car concept, being proud of who we are and what we do and knowing how to value those elements that make us unique, is undoubtedly attractive. Unique and authentic personalities are seductive. Therefore, we must take care of elements such as the image we project, the content of what we say and the security we show. By this we do not mean that we have to invent a kind of perfect and attractive character that is far from who we really are, but rather to work with ourselves in order to like ourselves. Thus, we will gain self-esteem, an essential element for the success of any seduction process. In short, to seduce others, you must first seduce yourself. Along these lines, we take the opportunity to recommend the reading Sedúcete para seducir by Eva Bach and Pere Darder.

3. Assume who you are, with your strengths and with those that you cannot objectively change.
We are all who we are, with our virtues and our points to improve. It is obvious that working to improve is recommended, but it is also true that learning to be good with ourselves does not imply seeking perfection. Seduction happens by being able to exhibit our virtues while accepting naturally what we cannot change. A very clear example is the issue of height. Nobody can change this physical aspect and the only way so that it is not a limitation is acceptance.

4. Treat the other person as equals and make them feel good.
Seduction involves showing our authenticity, as we have said, but also by being interested in the person in front of us. It is as simple as taking interest in knowing her, asking her about her tastes and aspirations, practicing active listening, empathizing with her … In short, trying to generate good communication that, little by little, builds a bond between you.

5. Yes, to the intelligent sense of humor.
Making the other person laugh does not fail. When we laugh with another person, our brains secrete neurochemicals (serotonin, endorphins, etc.), related to pleasure and well-being. For this reason, the sense of humor generates attraction. In fact, we could say that, in general, we are attracted to people, activities and situations that we find fun and interesting. However, the sense of humor should not be a constant, because it also gets tired and loses its effect if we stop braking. We must use a sense of humor adapted to the person in front of us and according to our values ​​and way of being, both in terms of quantity and quality. Certain jokes may be very fond of some people and totally counterproductive to others.

6. Take care of non-verbal language.
We could say that attraction is the energy that arises from a set of elements that have to do not so much with “what” we say or do but with “how” we say or do it. Elements such as:

  • Eye contact is one of the most important weapons of seduction. Being able to fix our gaze on the eyes of someone who is attractive to us denotes a lot of confidence and security, elements that are attractive. Get eye contact with a person we are interested in, keep it for a while or determined and then withdrawing it with subtlety, generates an indisputable impact. In the course of a conversation, maintaining eye contact brings us closer to the other person, makes them feel special and, consequently, brings us closer to them.
  • The smile allows us to convey sympathy and positive emotions and, therefore, is a very efficient way to captivate. When a person smiles, he reaches his maximum level of beauty because he projects happiness and well-being and this projection generates positive feelings in others.
  • The posture. There are many studies that relate body position to certain messages that are interpreted by everyone in the same way, since they are part of our socialization. For example, while the crossed arms show closeness and distance, if we lean slightly towards the other person we are showing interest and proximity. A proper body position also enhances our physical appearance.
  • Tone of voice. A moderate, caring tone of voice that seeks to connect and caress is, at the very least, pleasant; And it can be exciting too.
  • The silences. Knowing how to manage breaks is also a good way to keep the attention of the person in front of us, generate interest and create expectations. Silences also convey emotions that we can subtly convey to our partner, accompanied by smiles, drooping eyes and other gestures, hands, for example.
  • Body odor is decisive when distances are shortened. We must take care of and enhance this element, with good hygiene and selecting a pleasant fragrance that is in line with our personality.
  • Subtle physical contact. It is very useful to accompany our verbal, body and voice messages with small doses of physical contact. Offering a hand to get down from a high place, accompanying the couple by putting a hand on their waist when we want to give way or gently grasp their forearm to fix their attention, these are small gestures that offer us a closer approach.

7. Generate positive feelings.
We have already pointed out some very useful elements when it comes to generating positive feelings, such as applying a sense of humor or being interested in the person we want to seduce; but there is more. It is convenient to be attentive to the language we use and the topics we address, especially on first dates. The language we use says a lot about us. In fact, if we pay attention, we will immediately see if it is a positive or negative language, for example. Emphasizing difficulties and venting through traumatic life episodes lowers the mood of the person in front of us and, therefore, acts as a brake on seduction. With this we do not mean that we do not have the right to share everything with our partner, but that we do not have to do it from the beginning.

8. Don’t be in a hurry, enjoy every step.
A common mistake is to show our expectations and / or intentions from the beginning (I want to be a father, I want to have sex…), often causing the blockage of who we have in front of us. The connection or bond that is established during the seduction process is fragile and it is convenient to move forward in a certain way but always bearing in mind that each person is different and that we must be attentive to the signals we receive from the other person to adjust our interactions . Even if the goal of the seduction is only sporadic sexual contact, not being in a hurry and being attentive to the needs of the other person will increase the degree of satisfaction of both people.

9. Don’t show yourself “needy”!
The terms need and seduction are opposite. If we transmit despair, we will cause the other person to withdraw, since her interest in us will be reduced and, in addition, we can make her feel pressured. It is about that the other person does not perceive that we need them but rather to generate in them, little by little, the desire to be with us.

10. Create a little mystery.
If you are completely predictable, it may happen that you stop being interesting. The mystery is attractive to people, because of not always knowing what will come next … This idea is not contrary to transparency, but rather goes along the lines of continuing to maintain your spaces, for example. Simple and everyday actions such as going for a walk on the beach at night or very early in the morning without prior notice or leaving a simple note will break the predictability of our actions, for example. Undertaking a new project (travel, training, work …) will make our partner feel attracted to a new area of ​​our life and all the growth that it will bring us. In no case is it about doing things to keep the couple disoriented but to fill our time beyond this with life. Being available can always be detrimental to the health of the relationship and of own well-being.

Finally, we would like to emphasize that between the initial attraction and the formation of a stable couple there is a long road that requires generating a bond between the two people. We could say that this link can start from an initial physical connection but that it is only established if we achieve an emotional connection with the other person. You can also go the other way: establish an emotional connection to which you end up adding the physical connection, necessary in any love relationship. Be that as it may, if the ultimate goal of attraction goes beyond falling in love and therefore seeks to achieve love, we must be prepared and willing to give and receive in equal parts, to invest time and effort in ourselves and in the other person. We all have the capacity to love, but generally we make the mistake of seeking to be loved first. Maybe because we don’t have to try so hard, maybe so as not to fall into disappointment … Stable couples are built when two people who love themselves decide to open up to each other to give and receive, for the benefit of their “us.” “, which is much more powerful than the sum of the two” I “and that is being built little by little…

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