And after the first date, what?

The first date can go from very good to bad, going through a whole group of nuances; space where most of them are. Below we have tried to answer the question of the title of the article; the first date what?, placing ourselves in the different possibilities:

1) love at first sight

Love at first sight is an unrealistic expectation, being unlikely. Although this does not mean that it cannot happen … If it happens, we have to be careful, because this love at first sight may or may not be reciprocated and, depending on how we act, the situation may evolve in one direction or another. If the other person attracts you from the start, she tries to maintain a sufficient level of tension to be able to interact appropriately. This means: do not overreact, do not fall into monologues that can bore her or miss the opportunity to truly know the person in front of you. Be that as it may, if the person we have met we really liked, it is advisable not to let things cool, but to avoid behaving impulsively and insistently. If the first date has been real, face to face, it does not make much sense to interact excessively without leaving the comfort zone of WhatsApp conversations. Sometimes these lead us to the realm of superficiality and automatic responses. We therefore recommend that the proposal to share a second real experience take place shortly, without forcing things … This proposal can come from any of you; It seems obvious, but it is not. Sometimes it happens that both people expect to receive a show of interest from the other and in the end neither of them takes the step.

2) My time has flown by and we have many things in common but there is a “but”…

This scenario is the most frequent. You have found yourself before a person who has most of the ingredients that you consider essential but with some little thing that does not quite fit you … Or maybe everything fits but the necessary connection (feeling) has not emerged in a love relationship? Whether it is one thing or the other, a second date is more than recommended. The first dates are not easy, it is difficult to be relaxed and to be able to express yourself naturally … Sometimes, it can also happen that we project an image that does not quite fit our usual style, due to the fact that we wanted to fix more than the account for the day in question. For all this and much more, meeting again will help you determine if this “little thing” is decisive or not and, also, to experiment if the chemistry arises or not. For this second date to provide you with the necessary information to decide whether or not the love relationship has a future, we want to suggest that it take place in a well-cared environment, just as we have tried for the first date. Do not rush, remaining if you take care of when and how. Propose him to live an experience together that you might like … A mountain bike outing, a walk on the beach that ends with some tapas by the sea, a visit to an exhibition on a theme that you are passionate about, the premiere of a musical, attend to a sports competition …

3) The person is objectively compatible with me but I have not felt well.

This is, fortunately, the least frequent assumption. Although we find it uncomfortable, it is quite easy to manage. It is simply a matter of clearly but politely closing the open chapter with the person we have met. When we say clearly we do not mean to express in depth what we did not like (or dislike) but to be clear in our positioning. We can use generic and clarifying phrases like: “We have shared a nice dinner, but I see clearly that you are not the type of person I am looking for.” If we find ourselves with some insistence (frequent WhatsApp, for example), we recommend thinking of a more forceful message like: “I am not interested in establishing any kind of relationship with you, I would appreciate it if you do not write me more”

To finish, we want to emphasize that it is important to live naturally any of the assumptions. We must understand that knowing how to go through the emotions we feel before, during and after our appointment, is part of the process to find the person we really want by our side. Each appointment is an experience that helps us clarify what we want and learn to pass the necessary filters. You have to live it, then, as an opportunity. Love will come after any of the opportunities that we allow ourselves to live, be it through one of our blind dates or any other experience that we decide to take advantage of. Remember: Blind Dating is one more way to seek love. If you want, we will help you!

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